I’m not going to beat around the bush here. As the title of this post says, I am hitting a wall. In running, in writing, in a lot of things in life at the moment. When you’re constantly in motion and constantly turned on you reach a point where you feel invincible and you just keep pushing as hard as you can, until something inevitably stops you…
I’m not writing as much because it’s been hard to find the time. I am trying to cook as much as I’d like to but am feeling less than inspired about meal planning and maintaining an overall diet plan. I can’t do yoga as much as I’d like because I always have to run. I can’t get my house cleaned up because I need to take the dogs out. I can’t take the dogs out because I need to work around the house. I can’t work on my project because I can’t even weed through my primary email, because I’m still trying to get caught up on my work email. I can’t hike because I’m entertaining company. When I’m done entertaining company I’m already on Pinterest looking for new ideas. I can’t sit on the couch and watch a movie because I’m out with friends. I haven’t been able to catch up on shows because I fall asleep every time I hit the couch.
Tradeoffs. Opportunity cost.
Recently I saw an article about a statement by Randi Zuckerburg (Entrepreneur/Former Facebook Employee) that goes “Work, sleep, family, fitness, or friends–pick three.” She calls this the entrepreneur’s dilemma but really it’s a dilemma that we all face.
It’s more than work/life balance because for so many of us the line between work and life is completely blurred. Even those of us who aren’t out there building tech companies (which is actually what I do for work…) have family, friends, diet, exercise, dogs, homes, and countless side hustles that we’re devoted to and passionate about. Picking just three is not an option.
My long runs should be up to about 17 miles at this point and I keep tapping out at 12.5 miles. I’m frustrated. I am sticking to plan on the rest of my training. I slowed down my pace for my long runs to allow my body to adjust to the distance. I was feeling good yesterday and then BAM at 12.5 miles the body said “No more!”
As I was walking my last 3 miles yesterday I texted a few runner friends to complain, seek reinforcement but mostly to ask what the hell am I doing wrong? A friend messaged me back “Are you just exhausted?”
I knew that training for a full marathon was going to be time consuming. I loved training for the half so much, but it did fit pretty perfectly into my already established routine. Training for the full has been a lot. I’m starting to have some self doubt. Can I even do this? Is it worth it? Maybe someday I will look back on this and laugh, but it doesn’t feel that way now.
Am I just exhausted? Quite likely that is the answer. Now that fall is here and the summer of craziness is over, it’s time to slow down and recreate some balance.
We sold our tickets to Riot Fest this past weekend because we knew we just couldn’t do one more thing. I started the week of with yoga and some writing time. I am going to cut out one day of running this week to devote to something else, probably more yoga and writing. We have a nice Saturday hike planned. One thing about living where we live is that no matter what is going on, there is no therapy better than getting out into the mountains.
What do you do to get back on track when you’re feeling overwhelmed and uninspired?